Jokes for Monday...

Got this email from a friend. Have a great week ahead now...cheers.


Since "blonde" is a state of mind, my profound apologies to all the very smart blondes I know!





6 degrees of blonde


FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said 'How should I know,
that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I don't know,
some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde
says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him
in the arms of a redhead....
Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*

FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'

*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*

FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
'Is it mine?'

*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*

SIXTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarised.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman...'

*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`??*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*


OK.. Now forward this to someone else who needs a laugh today.

CNY 2009

It has not been a good CNY for the state and my city.

Has been flooding in a lot of area. And in my city itself there has been 2 landslides. One on the 16 of January...destroyed a petrol station and lost of 2 lives (happened around 1 am).

Second landslide on the 30.1.2009...happened during day time...lucky no lost of lives. About 5-8 houses got hit. Thank God few years ago, the government asked people to move to another location. If not there would have been more houses gotten hit.

Two nights ago, one guy played the fireworks...it was raining a bit. He lit the fire work thingy...initially it did not go off..so he went to have a look..when he looked..the firework went off...poor guy...died on the spot.

Last year the rain average was 400mm per month. January 2009 already saw the rainfall hit 890mm. As i am posting this..it is raining out there. One of the road leading to another city (just 28 km out of my city) have collapsed too. And a few more in dangerous level.

Hope this will end soon ....May God look after those who are going through this.

Happy Chinese New Year...

Helo Friends,

A very Happy Chinese New Year to you and your families...:)

My PC and lap top kena virus so have not been able to update my blog and blog hopping. Hopefully after CNY, can get it fix by then.

At the moment using bro's laptop...he is back for CNY. Now he is out shopping with mom, curi curi use his laptop...:)

Any way...all the best for the year of the Ox. May it be a great one.

Take care and God bless.

For those balik kampung, please drive safely...cheers.

Have u ever? ...Tag

Got this from Monica... Thanks again...:)



1. Have you ever been on TV?
-- Yeah in my dream.

2. Have you ever sung in public?
-- Yes, at my wedding reception.

3. Have you ever dyed your hair blond?
-- Nope...:)

4. Have you ever eaten frogs' legs?
-- Yes. Taste a bit like chicken.

5. Have you ever received a present that you really hated?
-- Not that i could think off. May because i don;t received much presents..:)

6. Have you ever walked into a lamp post?
-- Nope.

7. Have you ever cooked a meal by yourself for more than 15 people?
-- Nope.

8. Have you ever fallen or stumbled in front of others?
-- I think i might have...when i was young.

9. Have you ever done volunteer work?
-- Yes.

Merry Christmas And a Happy New Year....plus a wedding brief...part 1.

Hello Friends,

A very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you and your love ones.

Sorry for not been visiting your cribs...cause for the past week i have been busy with my big day...:)

The big day came and it was on the 22.12.2008. Just family and relatives only. Will post some of the pictures when it is available...it is in the process.

Here is a 'brief' on what happened that day. Would like to thank God for giving us a good weather. During the important part of the events, no rain.

For me the day went by so fast...could not believe it when it was in the evening we were waiting to be called to go in to the dining hall.

My day started around 6:30am, getting ready to fetch my wife. She has to be at my house (dad's house) before 10am. My cousin came and help out at the kitchen, her mom cook tradition 'mee sua'. I had a bit before going off. Too excited to be hungry though...:)

My eldest cousin was the driver (i was his driver when he got married). He came on the dot at 7:30am. Another cousin came and he was the camera man...took video clips of me changing my baju (except for the pants part) and my dad helped me put on my suit. It was a humbling experience for me.

(Dad was very happy and excited about my marriage. Because of his work, he knows a lot of people, so in order not to offend anyone by leaving them out...we decided not to invite any friends from our side. My wife on the other hand can invite friends. Lucky we have common friends who i am also close to.)

Went to fetch my wife at 8:00am. With my aunty as the 'match maker'. And my brother as my best man. Reach my wife's place at about 8:25am. I had clear a few 'hurdles' before i can reach my wife.

The first hurdle was opening the door by one of my wife's nephew. I had to get ready many 'ang pows'/ red packets. Gave about 3 packets baru he open my car door. Then the next hurdle the girls part...they blcok the main entrace to the house. Also have to give many red packets. After that, asked me to sing a song to my wife. hehe...lucky i got practise one song 'You took my heart away' by Michael learns to Rock. I sang the chorus part only.

Cleared that one, i had to eat a bowl of 'mee sua' with 2 eggs. Lucky they were mercyful with me and did not ask me to eat the whole bowl. Just had a few bites and with all the cameras on me. First time eating like the whole world was watching.

After that hurdle, went up the stairs and another small gate is closed and again...red packet time. After all the kids had the red packet...baru small gate opened. Then came the door to her room. I have to say some sweet words for her to hear before they open the door. Wow...at that moment with everything that was going on...me and my mates could not think of any...but lucky some gave some ideas.

[Oh ya...before i forget, two of my mates/ buddies took time off to help me go and fetch my wife. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.]

My aunty also helped me with the sweet words....she said it in chinese...i think it is something like...'i will love you for million years'. I used that and my second verse i used english. "Forget about the past, for the future i will be with you always"....something like that...have to watch the video recording again...:)

Final hurdle...they tied my eyes and i had to guess which hands belongs to my wife. Not an easy task....lucky the first two belongs to the nephews...:) I think the fourth or number 5 belongs to my wife....ha...finally got her.

Kneel on one knee and gave her flowers. Went down stairs and gave teas to my mother and father in law. Went inside the car, have to go forward and backward 3 times before can proceed to my place.


To be continue.......

Important message..

Got this from email.

THIS INFORMATION NEEDS TO BE SHARED!

Microwaved water - one MUST read

A 26-year old guy decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done numerous times before).

I am not sure how long he set the timer for, but he told me he wanted to bring the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the cup from the oven. As he looked into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but instantly the water in the cup 'blew-up' into his face.

The cup remained intact until he threw it out of his hand but all the water had flown out into his face due to the build up of energy. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and 2nd degree burns to his face, which may leave scarring. He also may have lost partial sight in his left eye.. While at the hospital, the doctor who was attending to him stated that this is fairly common occurrence and water (alone) should never be heated in a microwave oven. If water is heated in this manner, something should be placed in the cup to diffuse the energy such as: a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc. It is however a much safer choice to boil the water in a tea kettle.

General Electric 's (GE) response:

Thanks for contacting us. I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail that you received is correct. Micro waved water and other liquids do not always bubble when they reach the boiling point. They can actually get superheated and not bubble at all. The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the cup when it is moved or when something like a spoon or teabag is put into it. To prevent this from happening and causing injury, do not heat any liquid for more than two minutes per cup. After heating, let the cup stand in the microwave for thirty seconds before moving it or adding anything into it.

If you pass this on .... you could very well save someone from a lot of pain and suffering.

Winner takes it all....

After watching the movie..could not get the song out of my head..so gave this song a go.

Hope it is ok...:)

Ma Ma mia...

I think most of you have seen this movie..."Ma Ma Mia"..starring Pierce Brosnan (my fav Bond) and Meryl Streep.

I only saw it recently...waited for the DVD to come out. And i love it. Not easy singing and dancing especially for Meryl. And the songs from ABBA...simply devine.

I will try to sing 'Winner takes it all'..:)

Any way...here is clip from the movie for those who have not watched it. Happy Weekend to all of you.

The ABC tag...

Got this from Monica....thanks again...:)


A. Attached or single? In a relationship.

B. Best Friend? My future half..:)

C. Cake or Pie? Definitely cake.

D. Day of choice? Saturday, can play golf..:)

E. Essential Item? My laptop.

F. Favorite color? Red..(think Tiger Woods).

G. Gummy bears or worms? Gummy bears, of course.

H. Hometown? Oil town of Sarawak.

I. Favorite Indulgence? Eating chocolate.

J. January or July? July!

K. Kids? None.

L. Life isn't complete without? Family and friends.

M. Marriage date? Coming soon.

N. Number of magazine subscriptions. None.

O. Oranges or Apples? Apples.

P. Phobias? Deep water.

Q. Quotes? From my dad.."Must take care of your health or your health will take care of you."

R. Reasons to smile? Life and love.

S. Season Of Choice? Christmas season.

T. Tag five people. Please feel free to join in.

U. Unknown fact about me? can't think of one at the moment.

V. Vegetable? Eh...lettuce.

W. Worst Habit? Procrastination.

X. X Ray or Ultrasound? Ultrasound.

Y. Your favorite foods? Western, Chinese, and Malay food.

Z. Zodiac sign? Cancer.


Now you know my ABC's...! ;-)

To where you are...

Hope it is alrite...Happy listening.

The fantastic four - Tag

Got this from Monica. Thank you.


Here's the rule: Click copy/paste, type in your answers and tag four people in your lists! Don’t forget to change my answers to the questions with that of yours.


4 places I go over and over: The loo, Bookshops, golf courses, McDonald's.

4 people who email me regularly: My wife, Facebook friends, KL aunty and old classmates.

4 of my favorite places to eat: Citrus, Double star, Maxim sea food, McDonald's.

4 places you'd rather be: Rome, Paris, St Andrews, Hawaii.

4 TV shows I could watch over and over: Num3ers, The Apprentice, Friends, CSI Miami.

Am not tagging anyone...but feel free to join in.

Wedding songs...

Helo friends,

Any idea of good wedding songs to be put up during wedding dinner?

Title: L O V E

Got this from my cousin. Some of you may have read this one before.


I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny,
are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'


I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical

state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the

life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body o f the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

For those who prefer to think that God is not watching over us.... go ahead and delete this. For the rest of us... pass this on.

The value of a man or woman resides in what he or she gives, not in what they are capable of receiving... repost it as a story that touches your heart.

Snatch Thieves in SS 2 - New Method

Got this from a friend.

Dear All

We have been reading about snatch thieves incidents. I witnessed for myself today a new method adopted by them.
Please pass this on to friends -
Alert them of this NEW METHOD adopted by snatch thieves.

I was driving along SS2/22, Petaling Jaya going towards Damansara Jaya. This street is totally residential one street off the main road.

About 10 houses in front of me was this young lady walking by a car parked along the grass patch outside one of the terrace houses. As she was reaching the rear end of this clean decent looking Silver Proton Waja, I noticed the engine started and the left rear passenger doors window was being wound down.

Suddenly a man emerged out of the rear passenger doors window his entire torsol and making a grab of this lady's handbag!!!! As this man emerged from the car's window, the Silver Proton Waja was pulling out of its parking position slowly not in a hurry with the man from within just dragging the lady and her handbag along until she gave it up!! Then they drove off slowly, no hurry!!!

All the above happened in front of my eyes in less than 30 seconds!!!!!

Her screams and cries did not help! No one came to her rescue in fact a middle age woman ran into her house upon seeing this happening right in front of her house only to come back out to lock her gates after the car has driven away! Do you blame her? The thieves were so bold!!!!

By the time my car reached her, the Silver Proton Waja had turned the corner. She was very shaken but thankfully only slightly hurt her pants were torn as were her slippers, bloody knees, shins, palms and elbows. On the way to the police station, she told me that she had noticed that there were 3 men she identified them as 'brown-skinned' men in the car.

I could not believe my eyes when I saw what was happening thus did not have the instinct to take note of the cars registration number. I've always thought that would be the first thing I would look out in an incident like this but NO I was too shocked simply watching this scene being played out right in front of me!!!

So please beware when you are walking by parked cars with men inside.

Pass this on to as many friends as you can to alert them.

Nice story..

Got this from a friend. Happy reading and have a great weekend.


Very nice story - Don 't Miss to Read it!!!

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!'

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.

'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're both coming for Deepavali and paying their own airfare!!'


MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE.
Happy moments, praise God. Difficult moments, seek God. Quiet moments, worship God. Painful moments, trust God. Every moment, thank God.

A guide for expatriate drivers in Malaysia

Got this from you know who...:) I think some of you have read this before.


Written by David Astley, a British/Ozzie guy now living in KL
A guide for expatriate drivers in Malaysia

Since arriving in Malaysia in 1997, I have tried on many occasions to buy a copy of the Malaysian road rules, but have come to the conclusion that no such publication exists (or if it does, it has been out of print for years). Therefore after carefully observing the driving habits of Malaysian drivers, I believe I have at last worked out the rules of the road in Malaysia.

For the benefit of other expatriates living in Malaysia, and the 50% of local drivers who acquired their driving licences without taking a driving test, I am pleased to share my knowledge below:

Q: What is the most important rule of the road in Malaysia?
A: The most important rule is that you must arrive at your destination ahead of the car in front of you. This is the sacrosanct rule of driving in Malaysia. All other rules are subservient to this rule.

Q: What side of the road should you drive on in Malaysia?
A: 99.7% of cars drive on the left hand side, 0.2% on the right hand side, and 0.1% drive in reverse (be on the look out for drivers reversing at high speed in the left hand lane of freeways, having just missed their exit). Therefore on the basis of 'majority rules', it is recommended that you drive on the left. However, be aware that only 90% of motorcyclists travel on the left hand side - the other 10% ride in the opposite direction or on the sidewalk. Fortunately, motorcyclists traveling in reverse are rarely seen.

Q: What are the white lines on the roads?
A: These are known as lane markers and were used by the British in the colonial days to help them drive straight. Today their purpose is mainly decorative, although a double white line is used to indicate a place that is popular to overtake.

Q: When can I use the emergency lane?
A: You can use the emergency lane for any emergency, e.g. you are late for work, you left the toaster plugged in at home, you are bursting to go to the toilet, you have a toothache or you have just dropped your Starbucks coffee in your lap. As it is an emergency, you may drive at twice the speed of the other cars on the road.

Q: Do traffic lights have the same meaning as in other countries?
A: Not quite. Green is the same that means "Go", but amber and red are different. Amber means "Go like hell" and red means "Stop if there is traffic coming in the other direction or if there is a policeman on the corner". Otherwise red means the same as green. Note that for buses, red lights do not take effect until five seconds after the light has changed.

Q: What does the sign "Jalan Sehala" mean?
A: This means "One Way Street" and indicates a street where the traffic is required to travel in one direction. The arrow on the sign indicates the preferred direction of the traffic flow, but is not compulsory. If the traffic is not flowing in the direction in which you wish to travel, then reversing in that direction is the best option.

Q: What does the sign "Berhenti" mean?
A: This means "Stop", and is used to indicate a junction where there is a possibility that you may have to stop if you cannot fool the cars on the road that you are entering into thinking that you are not going to stop.

Q: What does the sign "Beri Laluan" mean?
A: This means "Give Way", and is used to indicate a junction where the cars on the road that you are entering will give way to you provided you avoid all eye contact with them and you can fool them into thinking that you have not seen them.

Q: What does the sign "Dilarang Masuk" mean?
A: This means "No Entry". However, when used on exit ramps in multi-storey car parks, it has an alternative meaning which is: "Short cut to the next level up".

Q: What does the sign "Pandu Cermat" mean?
A: This means "Drive Smartly", and is placed along highways to remind drivers that they should never leave more than one car length between them and the car in front, irrespective of what speed they are driving. This is to ensure that other cars cannot cut in front of you and thus prevent you from achieving the primary objective of driving in Malaysia, and that is to arrive ahead of the car in front of you.
If you can see the rear number plate of the car in front of you, then you are not driving close enough.

Q: What is the speed limit in Malaysia?
A: The concept of a speed limit is unknown in Malaysia.

Q: So what are the round signs on the highways with the numbers, 60, 80 and
110?
A: This is the amount of the 'on-the-spot' fine (in ringgits - the local currency) that you have to pay to the police if you are stopped on that stretch of the highway. Note that for expatriates or locals driving Mercedes or BMWs, the on-the-spot fine is double the amount shown on the sign.

Q: Where do you pay the 'on-the-spot' fine?
A: As the name suggests, you pay it 'on-the-spot' to the policeman who has stopped you. You will be asked to place your driving licence on the policeman's notebook that he will hand to you through the window of your car. You will note that there is a spot on the cover of the notebook. Neatly fold the amount of your fine into four, place the fine on the spot, and then cover it with your driving licence so that it cannot be seen. Pass it carefully to the policeman. Then, with a
David Copperfield movement of his hands, he will make your money disappear. It is not necessary to applaud.

Q: But isn't this a bribe?
A: Oh pleeease, go and wash your mouth out. What do you want? A traffic ticket? Yes, you can request one of those instead, but it will cost you twice the price, forms to fill out, cheques to write, envelopes to mail, and then three months later when you are advised that your fine was never received, more forms to fill out, a trip to the police station, a trip to the bank, a trip back to the police station, and maybe then you will wish you had paid 'on-the-spot'.

Q: But what if I haven't broken any road rules?
A: It is not common practice in Malaysia to stop motorists for breaking road rules (because nobody is really sure what they are). The most common reasons for being stopped are:
(a) the policeman is hungry and would like you to buy him lunch;
(b) the policeman has run out of petrol and needs some money to get back to the station;
(c) you look like a generous person who would like to make a donation to the police
welfare fund; or
(d) you are driving an expensive car which means you can afford to make a donation to the police welfare fund.

Q: Does my car require a roadworthy certificate before I can drive it in Malaysia?
A: No, roadworthy certificates are not required in Malaysia. However there are certain other statutory requirements that must be fulfilled before your car can be driven in Malaysia.
Firstly, you must ensure that your windscreen is at least 50% obscured with English football
club decals, golf club membership stickers or condo parking permits.
Secondly, you must place a tissue box (preferably in a white lace cover) on the back shelf of your car under the rear window.
Thirdly, you must hang as many CDs or plastic ornaments from your rear vision mirror as it will support. Finally, you must place a Garfield doll with suction caps on one of your windows. Your car will then be ready to drive on Malaysian roads.

Q: What does a single yellow line along the edge of a road mean?
A: This means parking is permitted.

Q: What does a double yellow line along the edge of a road mean?
A: This means double parking is permitted.

Q: What does a yellow box with a diagonal grid of yellow lines painted on the road at a junction mean?
A: Contrary to the understanding of some local drivers, this does not mean that diagonal parking is permitted. It indicates a junction that is grid-locked at peak hours.

Q: Can I use my mobile phone whilst driving in Malaysia?
A: No problem at all, but it should be noted that if you wish to use the rear-vision mirror to put on your lipstick (women only please) or trim your eyebrows at the same time as you are using a mobile phone in the other hand, you should ensure that you keep an elbow free to steer the car. Alternatively, you may place a toddler on your lap and have the child steer the car whilst you are carrying out these other essential driving tasks.

Q: Is it necessary to use indicator lights in Malaysia?
A: These blinking orange lights are commonly used by newly arrived expatriate drivers to indicate they are about to change lanes. This provides a useful signal to local drivers to close up any gaps to prevent the expatriate driver from changing lanes. Therefore it is recommended that expatriate drivers adopt the local practice of avoiding all use of indicator lights. However, it is sometimes useful to turn on your left hand indicator if you want to merge right, because this confuses other drivers enabling you to take advantage of an unprotected gap in the traffic.

Q: Why do some local drivers turn on their left hand indicator and then turn right, or turn on their right hand indicator and then turn left?
A: This is one of the unsolved mysteries of driving in Malaysia.

Q. What is the use of the hazard warning lights?
A. Contrary to all international protocol, this four way flashing light is = switched on when the Police are escorting VIPs on the road to warn lesser mortals to move out of the way and not hinder the flow of the motorcade.
Taking a cue from the Police, motorists use this at the slightest excuse when it rains to tell other motorist to get out of the way as using their hazard light anoints them with powers that part the traffic, somewhat akin to Moses parting the Red Sea.

The art of being married...

Got this from an email...:)

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The
> husband,
> although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on
> the town and party
> with his old buddies.
>
> So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right
> back.'
>
> 'Where are you going, coochy cooh?' asked the wife.
>
> 'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going
> to have a beer.'
>
> The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'. She
> opened the door to
> the refrigerator
> and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
> different countries; Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,
> etc.
>
> The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing
> that he could think of
> saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop ....... but at the bar, you
> know..........
> they have frozen glasses'.
>
> He didn't get to finish the sentence because the wife
> interrupted him
> by saying,
> 'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?' She took a
> huge beer mug out of the
> freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding
> it.
>
> The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie
> roll........ but at the
> bar, they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really
> delicious..............I won't be long, I'll be
> right back. I
> promise........ OK?'
>
> You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?'. She opened
> the oven and took
> out 5 dishes
> of different hors d'oeuvres; chicken wings, pigs in
> blankets,
> mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
>
> 'But my sweet honey............ at the bar, you know
> ......... there's
> swearing,
> dirty words and all that'.
>
> 'You want dirty words, Dickhead???? Drink your fucking
> beer in your goddamn
> frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks because you
> are MARRIED now,
> and you aren't going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?'..
>
>
>
> *......... and they lived happily ever after. Isn't
> that a sweet story?*

Tag from Smallee...

Got this from my old buddy smallee

01. Would you fart inside an elevator? Depends on situation.. if I am alone, maybe Yes..


02. What will you do if the person you like doesn't like you back? I will do nothing.. cause nothing much I can do..


03. Miss Piggy + Kermit the Frog = Mrs Kermit Piggy The Frog :)


04. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you? Yes… sometimes......


05. What's your ideal lover like? My GF...future wife.

06. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else? I think I will go for both.

07. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings? I won’t wait… I will work harder to make sure that person accept me.

08. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do? Let it go.

09. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently? Yes.. golf competition postponed because of heavy rain...:)

10. What do you want most in life? My GF/future wife, my family, good health and of course...$$$

11. Is being tagged fun? Sometimes….depends if I have the time or not.

12. If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react? Hmmm..hard call and for sure I won’t be happy dude..

13. Who is currently the most important person to you? My GF/future wife.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? A great friend and a good family man.


15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor? None..cause I prefer to be rich and married…hahaha..

16. Would you rather be a bum or be a busy person? A busy person I guess.

17. Would you give your all in a relationship? Yes.

18. Define LOVE.? Check wikipedia please.

19. Milk chocolate, white chocolate or dark chocolate? Dark chocolate

20. If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do? Laugh la for sure.


RULES!These eight people must state who they were tagged by.You cannot tag the person who tagged you.Continue this game by sending this to eight other people.

Don;t think i be tagging any one....please feel free to join in.

The Hotel Manager

Not sure if you all have read this..but this is truly a good story that i must share. Happy reading.


The Hotel Manager


One stormy night many years ago, an elderly man and his wife entered the lobby of a small hotel in Philadelphia. Trying to get out of the rain, the couple approached the front desk hoping to get shelter for the night.

"Could you possibly give us a room here?" the husband asked. The clerk, a friendly man with a winning smile, looked at the couple and explained that there were three conventions in town

"All of our rooms are taken," the clerk said. "But I can't send a nice couple like you out in the rain at one o'clock in the morning. Would you perhaps be willing to sleep in my room? It's not exactly a suite, but it will be good enough to make you folks comfortable for the night."

When the couple declined, the young man pressed on. "Don't worry about me; I'll make out just fine," the clerk told them. So the couple agreed.

As he paid his bill the next morning, the elderly man said to the clerk, "You are the kind of manager who should be the boss of the best hotel in the United States. Maybe someday I'll build one for you."

The clerk looked at the couple and smiled. The three of them had a good laugh. As they drove away, the elderly couple agreed that the helpful clerk was indeed exceptional, as finding people who are both friendly and helpful isn't easy.

Two years passed. The clerk had almost forgotten the incident when he received a letter from the old man. It recalled that stormy night and enclosed a round- trip ticket to New York, asking the young man to pay them a visit.

The old man met him in New York, and led him to the corner of Fifth Avenue and 34th street. He then pointed to a great new building there, a palace of reddish stone, with turrets and watchtowers thrusting up to the sky.

"That," said the older man, "is the hotel I have just built for you to manage."
"You must be joking," the young man said.
"I can assure you that I am not," said the older man, a sly smile playing around his mouth.

The old man's name was William Waldorf Astor, and the magnificent structure was the original Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. The young clerk who became its first manager was George C. Boldt.

This young clerk never foresaw the turn of events that would lead him to become the manager of one of the world's most glamorous hotels.

The Bible says that we are not to turn our backs on those who are in need -- for we might be entertaining angels.

Selamat Hari Raya....

To my fellow friends who are celebrating Hari Raya.....

Wealth can melt,

Pleasure is unsure,

Power is not forever,

But friends who remember each other

will always stay together.

Therefore i wanna wish you and your family a Happy Selamat Hari Raya.


For those who balik kampung please drive safely. Happy holidays to all..cheers!!!