Monday, July 16, 2007
Win without Fighting
Win without Fighting by Mr Khoo Kheng Hor.
This book is based on Sun Tzu's Art of War principles and how those ideas can be of use not only in war but can also be use in our daily lives, be it work or personal.
If you know both yourself and your enemy, you will come out of one hundred battles with one hundred victories. But to be the best of the best - Therefore One hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the most skillful. Seizing the enemy without fighting is the most skillful.
This is what the author, Mr Khoo Kheng Hor wants to share with readers. In any circumstances, try to avoid confrontation as much as possible. Cause no one will benefit from it. Who ever win without fighting is the best of the best. I think the US president should read this book.
One of the things i learned from reading this book is empathy. Or in other words, think before you say anything. Some times in a fit of anger, it is better to step aside,cool off first before continue to speak. Sometimes in a fit of anger, words that come out from the mouth, could really hurt the person.
Empathy is commonly defined as one's ability to recognize, perceive and directly feel the emotion of another. As the states of mind, beliefs, and desires of others are intertwined with their emotions, one with empathy for another may often be able to more effectively define another's mode of thought and mood. Empathy is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or experiencing the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself, a sort of emotional resonance.
In any situation, never berate any one in front of other people. The author gave an example where a husband was always berated by the wife, no matter where they are, the wife will always put him down as some one who is useless. Before the guy was married, he was a happy type kind of person, who can take on the world. When he got married, it was as if he had entered hell on earth. The author suggest that the guy should talk to the wife about not putting him down in front of people, he also needs respect. If this is not solve, in the long run, the marriage will be heading downward.
Who knows what the guy will do? No one will handle this well, be it husband put wife down, wife put husband down, father vs son, employer vs employee. If there is anything to be said, let it be between the two people involve, no need to let the whole world know.
Never jump to conclusion. Listen to people talk first or let the person vent his/her frustration before giving any comment. Always get the whole picture first before making any comments.
This book is good cause, one will learn ways to achieve personal goal without stepping on other people's toes.