Monday, September 3, 2007

Ah Beng the nut

AH BENG the nut
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18friends?
Because below 18 not allowed Lah !

Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to ashop.
Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "

Ah Beng is filling up an application form for ajob. He supplied theinformation for the columns on Name, Age,Address etc. Then he comesto column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes " Yes "

Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Ah Beng : "I'll buy it" The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do ?"
Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"

Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks hispicture is being taken.

Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.

Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephoneoperator.
Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIMEDIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend."It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags."FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friendexclaims. "YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".

At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE"and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "ANDYOU, SIR ?"Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"

2 comments:

Ian said...

"Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE."

This is a weird one. Quite obvious this isn't written by a Malaysian / Singaporean because the end statement 'lah' is inappropriately used. Usually 'lah' is used with an apostrophe: 'lah!' and functions as something like a retort to the conversation and forcing it to a possible end.

In this case, Ah Beng should've used 'ah', which ends the sentence in a more polite and thankful manner, maybe even expecting a reply to it instead of forcing the conversation to the absolute end.

Man I've had too much coffee.

Nightwing said...

Hehe... if not for the coffee, u might not have catch the 'lah'..thanks for mentioning it.