Friday, December 7, 2007

Jokes...

Received this from KL aunty...:)

3 nuns watching hockey game.

3 men seated directly behind were
unhappy bcoz their habits were blocking the men's view.

They started to badger the nuns.

1st man: 'I want 2 move to Penang where there are only 50 nuns'.

2nd man: 'I'll go to Ipoh, only 25 nuns.'

3rd man: 'I go Kuantan only 10.'

One nun turned around n said, "Why don;t u all go to HELL, there are no nuns there."

7 comments:

U.Lee said...

Hi Nightwing, you sure got a aunt with good sense of humour. Does she blog? If she does, let me know. Love women with humour. Here's some smiles for you. 4 Catholic ladies: Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'. The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence'." The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hard-bodied stripper... Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God..."!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital,
near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.
As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died.
The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that
time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."
He opened the note, and read, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first sermon...

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done..

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talkup a storm.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found thefollowing note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said,"Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"

12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not, "Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God".

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Have a nice day, UL.

Ling That's Me said...

LOL~ your KL aunty's joke tickles!

TGIF! Have a nice day :)

Puteri said...

Haha! :-) Funny one!

Nightwing said...

Helo Uncle Lee,

So funny...love the last joke...hehe.

Thanks for sharing.

Sorry Uncle, KL aunty does not blog.

You have a great weekend ahead..:)

Nightwing said...

Helo Ling that's me,

Am glad you like it...:)

You too have a great weekend ahead.

------------------------------

Hi Puteri,

Thanks for dropping by...:)

Daphne Ling said...

Hi NightWing,

Haha! That was cute...

Incidentally, what were the habits of the nuns who irritated the men behind them? ;)

Nightwing said...

Hi Daphne,

hehe, not sure what habits...probably because the nuns were there, the man may have to control themselves from their own usual habits....:)