Got this from KL Aunty...:)
Ever wondered............................?
read on..............
Q: Why men walk more
and women talk more?
A: Coz men have three legs
and women have four lips!
Wives r Incoming Calls
Lovers r Outgoing Calls
Aunties r Tollfree Calls
Callgirls r Roaming Calls
Neighbour Girls r Missed Calls
A man stands nude in front
of a mirror n examins
himself n says: 2 inches more
& I'll be a king.
His wife sitting behind says:
2 inches less & you'll be
a queen.
Why do women wear flowered panties?
A: Cuz its their way of saying,
'In memory of those who were buried
here!
3 guys were introduced 2 a girl,
hi I'm Peter not a saint,
hi I'm Paul not a pope,
I'm john not a baptist,
the girl said hi
I'm mary not a virgin!
Wife asked her husband how
many women he had slept with.
Husband proudly replies, only
you darling, with others
I was awake!!!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Jokes for Monday...
Got this email from a friend. Have a great week ahead now...cheers.
Since "blonde" is a state of mind, my profound apologies to all the very smart blondes I know!
6 degrees of blonde
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said 'How should I know,
that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I don't know,
some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'
:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde
says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him
in the arms of a redhead....
Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'
*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
'Is it mine?'
*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
SIXTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarised.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman...'
*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`??*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
OK.. Now forward this to someone else who needs a laugh today.
Since "blonde" is a state of mind, my profound apologies to all the very smart blondes I know!
6 degrees of blonde
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said 'How should I know,
that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I don't know,
some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'
:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde
says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him
in the arms of a redhead....
Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'
*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
'Is it mine?'
*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
SIXTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarised.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman...'
*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`??*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
OK.. Now forward this to someone else who needs a laugh today.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
CNY 2009
It has not been a good CNY for the state and my city.
Has been flooding in a lot of area. And in my city itself there has been 2 landslides. One on the 16 of January...destroyed a petrol station and lost of 2 lives (happened around 1 am).
Second landslide on the 30.1.2009...happened during day time...lucky no lost of lives. About 5-8 houses got hit. Thank God few years ago, the government asked people to move to another location. If not there would have been more houses gotten hit.
Two nights ago, one guy played the fireworks...it was raining a bit. He lit the fire work thingy...initially it did not go off..so he went to have a look..when he looked..the firework went off...poor guy...died on the spot.
Last year the rain average was 400mm per month. January 2009 already saw the rainfall hit 890mm. As i am posting this..it is raining out there. One of the road leading to another city (just 28 km out of my city) have collapsed too. And a few more in dangerous level.
Hope this will end soon ....May God look after those who are going through this.
Has been flooding in a lot of area. And in my city itself there has been 2 landslides. One on the 16 of January...destroyed a petrol station and lost of 2 lives (happened around 1 am).
Second landslide on the 30.1.2009...happened during day time...lucky no lost of lives. About 5-8 houses got hit. Thank God few years ago, the government asked people to move to another location. If not there would have been more houses gotten hit.
Two nights ago, one guy played the fireworks...it was raining a bit. He lit the fire work thingy...initially it did not go off..so he went to have a look..when he looked..the firework went off...poor guy...died on the spot.
Last year the rain average was 400mm per month. January 2009 already saw the rainfall hit 890mm. As i am posting this..it is raining out there. One of the road leading to another city (just 28 km out of my city) have collapsed too. And a few more in dangerous level.
Hope this will end soon ....May God look after those who are going through this.
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